I'm Not Him
by Shorty
Summary: Tai*Sora*Matt love triangle....
1. Default Chapter Title

I'm Not Him  
Part 1  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon!!! I hate disclaimers!!! How the freak would I own Digimon??? I'm not even Japanese!!!  
  
* Author's Notes are in asterisks and I tend to swear so read the no swearing version if you don't like it. You people shouldn't flame about me swearing too much I have enough consideration to write a fic with no swearing for you people! *  
  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
Well there he was with her again, flirting, talking doing the usual. Now why can't I do that? Wait I could, it's just that I never get the chance to. Damn it Tai, all I need is a few moments with Sora and we can connect, she could be mine. She's so beautiful and graceful, I need her. There has to be a way for me to reach her heart and push Tai away. God, Matt think!  
  
I glance over to them and see her smiling up at him. I wonder what their talking about. Should I interrupt them? Yeah, why not! So I walk over there and say "Hi."  
  
"Hey Matt," Tai says.  
  
"Hello," says Sora. She seems distracted...I wonder what's wrong.  
  
"What's up?" I ask.  
  
"Oh, nothing we're just talking," Sora said.  
  
"About what?" I ask.  
  
"Nothing really," Sora answers. Did I interrupt at a bad time? Maybe she was going to tell Tai something important! Maybe she was going to tell him that she cared about him, could that be it?  
  
"Oh okay, see ya later!" I said and walked away. Why is it that I always seem to be walking away from them? It's not freaking fair! I feel as if I'm always going to be a third wheel to them. It's always going to be Tai, Sora and Matt. Why can't it just be Sora and Matt? I know it's because of Tai! When I'm around them I feel like shit, worthless shit. I shouldn't put everything on Tai but I can't help it. I feel so alone, sure I have Gabumon, T.K., and everyone else but damn it I need someone to love and hold. I really think that person is Sora.   
  
"Hey everyone dinner's ready!" Kari called out. I walk to camp and notice everyone's there except for… yeah the usual Tai and Sora. I wonder where they are…  
  
"Hey, where's Tai and Sora?" Joe asked. I guess I'm not the only one who noticed.  
  
"Probably off somewhere," Mimi mumbled.   
  
"What?" Izzy said. He seems surprised.  
  
"Oh you know there's more going on between those two," Mimi smirked. What?!?! No way!!! Not Sora and Tai…she's meant for me! Damn it Tai! This is just so freaking unfair! When is my turn with Sora??? I need to make a move soon…  
  
"What?!?!" Joe exclaimed. Wonder what's up with him…  
  
"You mean you didn't notice?" Kari asked him.  
  
"Notice what?" Izzy asked.  
  
"Holy crap you guys are so oblivious!!! Can't you tell that Tai likes Sora and Sora likes Tai???" Mimi exclaimed. She does??? No!!! Mimi has to be lying.  
  
"No… I never noticed, well maybe a bit," Joe said.  
  
"Well they need some time to express their feelings for each other and hopefully they're doing that right now," sighed Mimi.  
  
"Matt you've been awfully quiet," T.K. said.  
  
"What? Oh sorry," I said.  
  
"What's wrong?" Mimi asked.  
  
"It's just that-" I began.  
  
"Hey guys sorry we're late!" Tai said. So here they are.  
  
"Where were you?" Joe asked.  
  
"Where were by the lake," Sora said.  
  
"Oh okay anyways dinner's ready!" Mimi said.  
  
I could barely eat during dinner; my eyes didn't leave the sight of Tai and Sora. I saw everything, their awkward glances, their faint blushes and Sora's light giggles. How I envied Tai so much but also despised him with such a hatred that was indescribable.  
  
"Mat you haven't eaten anything," T.K. pointed out.  
  
"I'm not that hungry," I told him. He was so young and innocent; he couldn't understand the stress and pain I went through day in and day out.   
  
"Okay," T.K. chirped. I hope that he won't have to go through the pain I have to go through when he's older.  
  
"I'm stuffed," Tai said and walked off. I saw Sora's eyes on him the whole time. I pained me so to know that my chances with her were very slim but I would not give up.  
  
  
End of part 1  
  
  
I hope you people like it so far!!!  



	2. Default Chapter Title

I'm Not Him  
Part 2  
  
  
Disclaimer: Shematta!!! I don't own Digimon!!!  
  
* Author's notes are in asterisks and I tend to swear sometimes so if you don't like it read the no swearing version. *  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
Well I've decided that today I'm going to tell Sora how I feel but fist of all I must get her away from Tai that little bastard. Tai is too impulsive and immature; Sora and I are civilized people. I seriously can't see why she spends so much time with him, I guess it's because she and him are best friends. If only I had known her first….  
  
"Hey Matt what's up?" Sora asked.  
  
"Sora! Hey! Umm can I talk to you?" I managed to say. Hmm why isn't she with Tai? Oh screw Tai she's here with me.  
  
"Sure," Sora said and shot me a smile that made me want to grab her and plant one on her.  
  
"Look for along time I've been thinking about us, you know me and you and what you mean to me and for along time I've come to realize that I'm in love with you," I said.  
  
"Matt… I don't know what to say," Sora said.  
  
"Wait I'm not done, I know you and Tai have something going on but I want to show you what I can do for you I can love you and treat you how Tai can't. He's so impulsive and immature don't forget hardheaded. I mean I've liked you for a long time and who knows about Tai! I mean tomorrow you can be old news and there could be someone new. I'm twice as good as Tai and twice the man he is, I can make you feel like a queen. I understand if you don't feel the same way but I hoping, just hoping that you could give it some thought," I said.  
  
"Matt I…I like you too but I also like Tai, but you're right Tai is too impulsive and hardheaded. I guess what I'm saying is I choose you over him…" Sora said.  
  
I was completely speechless, but I didn't have to use words to express the joy I had in my heart. I went up to Sora and kissed her. It was like a moment in heaven. It was one of the happiest times of my life. We broke apart and I heard rustling in the bushes I turned around to see Tai! The hurt in his eyes was obviously shown. I felt pity for him yet also triumph; I had the one thing he wanted most in my arms.  
  
"Tai!" Sora shouted.   
  
My head zoomed around to her. Her eyes had filled with pain from guilt, why she felt sorry for this self-centered ass hole I will never know. She ran after him! What?! Fuck you Tai! You had to come around and ruin my moment of happiness. Why would she run after him right after she admitted her love for me and she said that she chooses me over Tai. If so why did she run off?!?! This was one of the happiest time in my life and one of the worst. Nothing could compare to the aching pain I felt that night. I returned to camp and went to sleep.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When I awoke the next morning I saw Sora by my side. She looked so beautiful and peaceful, at that second I had almost forgot about what had happened last night. I immediately got up and headed to the river. She had some explaining to do. When I reached the river I just so happened to find Tai sitting under a tree. His eyes where puffy, he must have not gotten any sleep. I need to talk to him…  
  
"Tai," I said.  
  
"Matt," Tai said in return.  
  
"We need to talk," I said.  
  
"We have nothing to discuss," Tai said and looked away.  
  
"Look, just because I get Sora and you get shit doesn't mean you have to be an asshole," I retorted. Stupid jerk now he knows how I use to feel.  
  
"You shut the fuck up," Tai said.  
  
"Make me ass hole!" I shouted. What the freak is wrong with him?  
  
"Whatever," Tai said.  
  
"What the hell is your problem?" I asked him.  
  
"You want to know what my problem is?" Tai asked me.  
  
"Yeah I do, it's probably because your jealous of me," Matt said.  
So it's not that great knowing that I have Sora, ne?  
  
"Oh damn it Matt shut up!" Tai cried. Tears were beginning to flow down his face. I was completely stunned. I never thought that he cared so much…  
  
"You want to know what my problem is? Okay yeah your right it includes Sora and you. It's not because I'm jealous of you or anything it's the whole fact that you get her! You just met her and I've known her for almost six years!" Tai exclaimed.  
  
"So?" I asked him. What is his bloody fucking point? Wow six years it's not like he like her that long…did he? No way! Could he have really liked her for that long?  
  
"I spent all six of those years chasing her! I wanted her the day I met her!" Tai explained with tears coming down his face again. I was completely shocked I never thought that he like her for so long…  
  
"Yeah, you heard me! I spent six years going after Sora; I've wanted her for six years and then along comes you and your cool guy rebel attitude. I spent all those years hoping that just someday I could have her and it would be worth it the day she would be in my arms. Now, now I don't know what I want anymore, all those years were a waste. A waste of time, a waste of pain and a waste of tears. Six fucking years…" Tai said.  
  
I felt so bad for him, there he was sitting down right in front of me, pouring out his soul and pouring out tears as well. I thought I heard something behind me I turned around to see a crying Sora.  
  
End of Part 2  
  
I hope you like it….  
  
  
  
  



	3. Default Chapter Title

I'm Not Him  
Part 3  
  
  
Disclaimer: Aya!!! I don't own Digimon!!!  
  
* Author's notes are in asterisks and I tend to swear sometimes so if you don't like it read the no swearing version. *  
  
~Matt's POV~  
  
Tears were pouring down Sora's face. It pained me so to see her crying, but I knew it was because of that damned Tai. Well perhaps it was partly my fault…  
  
"Tai I never knew…" Sora said tears still coming down her face.  
  
"I guess I just couldn't gather up the courage to tell you," Tai said. Oh how ironic he has the crest of courage.  
  
Sora just stood there speechless, so was Tai; as for me I was somewhat sickened. I feel guilty for feeling this way but I cannot help it, it was Tai who confused things for me, for us. I might as well break the silence…  
  
"So what the hell are you going to do now? Are you going to freaking kiss him and forget everything that happened yesterday?" I asked.  
  
"What the hell?" Sora asked me.  
  
"Oh you know what I'm talking about. You just don't say "I never you felt that way," to someone and cry without doing shit," I said. How predictable Sora will go back running to Tai and I will be alone once again…  
  
"Matt, even though I'm pretty damn close to killing you, you're still my friend even though I don't like to admit it. Not even I would stoop to such a low like taking someone else's girl. I'll leave you two to discuss things and work things out…" Tai said with tears now forming once again in his eyes. Thanks Tai, now maybe Sora and I will still have a chance.  
  
Tai walked off into camp…I saw Sora's eyes never left him until he was out of site. His tears were shown on the dirt ground.   
  
"Sora we need to talk," I said. Well duh! God what's wrong with me?  
  
"Well I kind of noticed that Matt," Sora retorted.  
  
"What will become of us?" I asked her.   
  
"I think you know the answer to that question…" Sora replied, not even looking at me. I guess all along I really did now the answer. I guess I just wanted to hold on to the chance that we could have actually been together when all along at the back of my mind I knew that Tai would have Sora in the end.  
  
"Yeah I but…but this isn't fucking fair!" I yelled.  
  
"I'm sorry Matt but I guess when I said I chose you over Tai, I thought that I was just his thing for now and that tomorrow it could be someone else but after I learned that Tai had loved me for so long already it brought back the possibility of us," Sora explained.  
  
"So what you just decided to take me because Tai may not like you for a long time? Oh great so I'm just your substitute for Tai? I'm your second string? I'm your last resort?" I asked her.  
  
"Matt I'm sorry I hurt you," Sora said almost near tears.  
  
"So I am those things, and probably more. Whatever Sora I hope you and Tai are very happy together and are very happy that you broke my heart," I told her and walked off.  
  
"MATT!" Sora called. I just ignored her; here I go once again alone. All because Sora felt sympathy for Tai because he spent six years chasing her. All because Tai had to be there when we kissed, all because I'm not Tai. Yeah, because I'm not him and I'll never be him.  
  
"Matt?" I heard someone call I turned around to find Tai. Great he was really the person I wanted to see right now.  
  
"Yeah what the hell do you want now ass hole?" I yelled.  
  
"A few minutes ago you were on top of the world looking down on me and now your acting like it's all my fault that you don't have Sora. Don't you think that after all this time I deserve her? I can finally say that fucking struggle was worth it!" Tai exclaimed.  
  
"But still…" I whined.  
  
"Matt I'm sorry but you know I've dreamt about me and Sora being together when I was seven years old. I even dreamt that we were old and had 20 grandchildren pulling at what was left of my hair and trashing our house," Tai told me.   
  
I was speechless…I couldn't even imagine marriage with Sora let alone growing old together.  
  
"When I saw you two kissing it ripped my heart into pieces. My plans, my dreams, my future were all completely destroyed. There are plenty of chicks out there that are just as good, maybe better than Sora but that's not very likely," Tai said.  
  
I couldn't help but laugh, I did feel somewhat better. "Thanks Tai, I'll see you later," I said. I walked towards camp and took a seat by the fire. I could see Tai and Sora's shadows in the trees they were kissing. Perhaps Tai is right; there are lots of chicks out there, just not in the Digiworld.   
  
"Hey Matt, are you okay?" someone asked me. I turned around and saw Mimi.  
  
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I asked her.  
  
"I know," Mimi replied.  
  
"Oh, yeah I should be fine. I should have known that those two were inseparable. Oh sorry," I said.   
  
"What? Why?" Mimi asked.  
  
"I know," I answered her.  
  
"Huh? Know what?" she asked me.  
  
"That you like Tai," I told her.  
  
"WHAT?!" Mimi practically screamed.  
  
"You don't? I always thought you did," I told her.  
  
"I don't like Tai!" Mimi whined. I haven't noticed it before but Mimi was kind of cute. In an irritating sweet way. I guess it's not such a bad thing that I'm not Tai.  
  
The End  
  
I'm sorry that was an extremely gay ending…   
  
  
  
  



End file.
